Madara's Last Message
by FatalBlood
Summary: A videotape was found in front of Senju's gate residence. That videotape was sent by Madara to be watched by the Senjus. The moment Tobirama pressed play button, Madara's face appeared on the screen. "SENJU! LOOK AT MY FACE!". Fast forward the time, it's the fourth shinobi world war. Madara wants his tape back. Why so? -And what will the Senju do? Canon/Crack-ish/Funny/Parody


After two days and two nights journey from Konoha, Hashirama and his comrades finally _touchdown_ the battlefield. _The __timing__ was perfect__ as _Naruto was on the verge of exhaustion. _Nidaime, Sandaime_ and _Yondaime_ hearts felt heavy seeing thousands of shinobi alliances' bodies scattered around on the ground. Flashbacks of previous shinobi world wars came into their minds.

"Madara,you ...?" Hashirama muttered in disbelief to see that his friend was alive again.

"Hahahahahaha! I've been expecting you, Hashirama!" Hashirama Senju's former best friend laughed happily seeing the chaos unfolded before him. Juubi followed suit synchronizing with his master's joy.

_'So this is Uchiha Madara.__My ancestor, has he always been like this?! '_ Sasuke looked somewhat taken aback by the OOC-ness shown by his so called great-grandparent, laughing in such a loud voice just now. _'Tch ... turns out he's not so cool after all.__I'm way~ hotter. '_ he said to himself.

"Stop this, Madara! Do not repeat your mistake in the past. You still remember our dreams, right? We don't want to see any more bloodshed between _shinobis!_ Trust me this is not what you are! "First Hokage began his lecture. Everyone immediately fell silent to hear the _live_ speech given by 'Father of The Shinobi' reverberating throughout the battlefield. Instead of feeling remorse, Madara just grinned wider upon hearing the speech.

_Tobirama,__ the Nidaime, do_ not want to lose, so he went up to the front. " _Nii-sama_ , it's time to stop this man's madness before it's too late. " said the spiky white haired man while preparing for his water element jutsus.

"Hmph, all you Senjus are sickening. Did you not remember my _last message_ at _that time_, hm?"

Automatically Hashirama and Tobirama raised their eyebrows in confusion trying to dig up their old memories. _Last message ..._ which one was it, huh? They can't remember. As far as they can remember, Madara declared too many ultimatums on Konoha.

One minute has passed, but Madara still can tolerate it. Perhaps because of their age they've became senile. But once it reached the fifth minute, and there's still no sign of them remembering, Madara immediately took out his _gunbai_ impatiently. "Just say that you guys can't remember! No need to pretend as if you're thinking hard! Hah!"

_Syuut!_

The strongest Uchiha jump from atop of Juubi and drew a deep breath, _"Katon gouryuuka no jutsu!"_ and he spurts a giant fire dragon from his mouth. Luckily with Tobirama quick response, he made a wall of water as _kekkai_ before the flame could touch the skin of people. Others also took refuge behind him.

"What was his final message, anyway? Even the Future Hokages don't know about it?" Hashirama asked Sarutobi. Not aware that his old disciple were even more senile than him.

"I remembered meeting a masked man claiming to be Madara." Minato said in correspond of his memory from seventeen years ago.

"Wait, I think I remember." Tobirama was motionless for a moment, _"Nii-sama_ ... that video tape!" he immediately turned towards his brother, drops of sweats forming on his forehead. Finally they remembered, Madara's _last message_ before disappearing at _that time_. It was ...

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Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto

**Madara's Last Message**

A Naruto fanfiction by Asakura Ayaka

Translated by FatalBlood

Canon, Timeline goes forth-back, might be OOC, humiliating and crazy into one

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**_Fifty-five years ago-_**

_It was a sunny weekend_in Konoha, a dashing cross-eyed man with a piece of small pink towel hanging around the neck just finished _jogging_ around the village. That was Senju Tobirama. As he was trying to open the large fence of his house, the _shinobi_ who was yet to become second Hokage, found a cassette tape laying on the ground. Automatically, Tobirama looked around in confused looking for any sign of people, _'Whose one is this?'_ he thought to himself before taking the tape and bringing it into the house.

_"Nii-sama_ , I found this outside. " Hashirama who was absorbed in the small packets belong to Tsunade-his grandchildren at his feet instantly fell silent. His eyes narrowed toward the object brought by his brother.

"Don't tell me ... it's the new porn?" Hashirama said with a smile full of intent. Tobirama follow in return, grinning and wiggled his eyebrows, who know what the two brothers were thinking.

"Let's watch it, brother."

"Wait a minute, that kiddo is still here, _bro_ - "

_"HOKAGE-SAMA!"_

**_Glek!_**

Their homeguard just gave a surprising report. He reported that there was a sighting of Madara lingering in front of the house five minutes ago. Madara left a black object in front of the house, but it's not even a wallet, what more it could be a secret scroll. Unless…it's the cassette picked up by Tobirama just now.

"Madara s-said, we must w-w-watch the video t-t-ttogether, HH-Ho-Ho-Hokage _-sama_ . " said the guard in stuttering manner. The guard turned out to be one of the Hyuuga's descendants.

"Really?" Hashirama turned serious, there's no way that the tape will contain _M rated __videos __if_ Madara sent it. "Gather all the members of the clan. This could be a threat." He urged again.

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Time passed by so quickly, the Senjus of all ages from young until old sat in a large hall under Hashirama's order. At the front, Tobirama was already holding the remote control which was pointing towards the screen. All of them recite prayers together before they start watching the video. Hashirama recited the prayers out loud and everyone nodded in response.

Turning back again to Tobirama, he pressed the _play __button__with his thumb_. Before anything could happen, Madara's ferocious face with _sharingan was _glaring on the screen.

**_"_**__**_Senju! LOOK AT MY FACE! "_**

Everyone instantly shuddered at Madara's grim face which looked so obviously _zoomed-in_ by him. His eyes were as if asking a Phillips screwdriver to screw it.

_"I'M NOT AFRAID! I_**_KNOW_**_WHO'S BEHIND YOUR BACK! "upon_ hearing this, Hashirama instinctively turned around but he didn't see anyone there. _Tch,__Madara thinking he knows it all._

_"I WILL TAKE ALL YOUR FORCES!"_ Madara beckoning his index towards the camera like a 3D film, _"-AND I'LL USE YOUR WEAPONS TO FIGHT AGAINST ALL OF YOU! THIS IS YOUR STYLE RIGHT?! HAHH?!"_ he stomped his feet to the earth three times until the ground cracks, the Senju began to close their ears upon hearing the thudding _bass_ of his stomps.

_"REMEMBER, AND ACKNOWLEDGE MY SPEECH! SOON…THE SENJUS AND ALL THEIR FOLLOWERS, AND_**_ALL_**_ PEOPLE WHO __ARE STILL DEFENDING THE SENJUS, WILL SUCCUMB IN THE END._**_FOR-GOD-SA-KKEEE! "_** Tobirama immediately turned down _the volume of the speakers_ so that the mountains in Madara's video background would not explode and spew hot lavas into Konoha's clear sky. He wondered what kind of advance video effects Madara used; still the video was getting a bit eerie. A part of Madara's hair was covering the face but you could see an acute grin and he's laughing hysterically. His messy long hair was swept by the wind.

"What is this movie trailer, _Jii-chan?__It's very scary_. "small Tsunade asked spontaneously.

There was a pause for a moment, and the screen suddenly blackened. Continue on again, the screen showed Madara sipping a glass of _white__ coffee_ on the edge of the balcony at a room. _The background changed to_ that of a _sunset_ beach. Madara raised his little glass cup with a calm look.

_"Konoha's White Coffee. Delicious coffee doesn't cause you bloating, doesn't make you nervous, doesn't make you angry anymore. Trust me, it works."_ Madara put on his handsome face as if the previous scene didn't happen.

"What in the hell is this, anyway?!"

"You know, sometimes there are ads! Don't tell me Uchiha has sponsors?"

_"Next, next!"_

"Better to watch gossip!"

The audience became restless. The moment they started preparing to go home with their lunch boxes in hand, the video continued onto the third _scene_. In this scene, Madara was sitting cross-legged on a black couch. He lights up the cigar in his mouth while smirking. He then winked his left eye towards the camera.

"Kyaaaaaaaaa so haaaawwwtttttt! Uchihaaaa!" the girls of Senju clan which happened to be members of Madara FC shrieked throughout the hall. The audience cancelled their intentions of going home.

_"Senju, still remember me?"_ said Madara calmly with one leg now up on the sofa, the _v-chest kimono_ he wore slipped down to the left revealing his broad chest. The girls screaming were getting louder.

_"You want me to die? Impossible, Senju. You guys should die instead. Remember, you've ruined my life, you've spent my wealth, destroyed my clan, killed my brother, seized my wife, broke my heart, and confiscated Kyuubi from me. Remember, karma does exist! Remember that, Senju! "_Madara threw his cigar onto the camera angrily. Then the screen went gray marking the end of the video.

**_Krik krik krik krikk_**

Hashirama and others were drop sweating on the spot. What was that, _'spent my wealth, seized my wife, and broke my heart'?_ It doesn't seem like it was included in the _list of_ actions done by Senju against Uchiha Madara. Whose _script_ did the young Uchiha memorized? Hashirama started playing memories of his childhood when he knew Madara for the first time; As far as he can remember, Madara wasn't as narcissistic and crazy like all changed since Madara felt he was not considered important anymore in Konoha. To add salts to the wound, the _founding father_ was even suspected being a malicious threat to the village. Hashirama was determined to straighten everything out.

"Tobirama, protect the village. I'll face Madara alone ..."

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Back to the present fourth _shinobi_ world war. Hashirama now remembered Madara's _last message_. The fight in the past repeats itself again with Madara and Hashirama standing at the forefront.

_"Please,_ Mad. Don't be such a child, you're already an _old fart_ but still mad over the past that's long gone. "

"Shut up, Ram!" Madara can't accept being called _old fart_ by Hashirama. "My heart is in pain! Everyone doesn't know that I'm already sick of this world!" he snapped openly, his saliva foaming at the mouth, "By the way, give back the videotape from _that time_! That was humiliating!" Madara showed a rather anxious expression to Hashirama, his face flushed into bright pink. Everyone knew very well how embarrassing that video was, including the main player himself-Uchiha Madara. At _that time_ he was so consumed with his revengeful feelings that he even did the _shooting_ at an expensive studio.

Finally, Hashirama thought of a brilliant idea. He formed _Kuchiyose no jutsu_ seals and- **_wussh!_** –the video cassette was already in his hands. "Here, I'll give it back, but why don't you test it first, who knows it might've mixed up with my other video cassettes." Hashirama suggested in serious voice. Madara snatched the tape immediately, and then glared at him fiercely.

"B-R-B. I'll try first."

**_Poff!_**

In the blink of an eye Madara's figure disappeared along with the smoke under the pretext of trying to test the tape given by Hashirama. Juubi was left alone; meanwhile Obito was still busy being nostalgic with Kakashi in another dimension.

"This is our chance. Seal Juubi now!" Hashirama commanded the entire alliance. Minato was ready in _action_ using a collection of Uzumaki clan seal moves he had mastered. Soon ... the _shinobi_ world war will end with the cessation of the ten tails raging monster. Indeed, Hashirama's appearance had been a big help to the alliance that almost got KO-d at the hands of Madara.

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Meanwhile, in somewhere else far away from the battlefield, Madara was ready to play the video given by Hashirama. He pressed the _play_ button with full force and bulging eyes. The video was loading very slow that it drained off his patience, just like waiting for _buffering in YouTube_. Sometimes he even kicked the existing 14-inch television while waiting.

**_Brak brak brak!_**

"Damn it, old stuffs!"

**_Brak brak brak!_**

"Trash!"

_And finally,_ about fifteen minutes after, the images appeared on the screen but ...

_'You do me hot-hot-hot-ahh, this is more than just a feeling.__Or mere illusion-ta-ta-taahh, you make me ex-ci-ted-ted-ted'_

"WTF IS THIS!" Madara tensed and anger lines were forming on his forehead. He was tricked by video contained who-knows-what kind of _boyband_ still playing on the television. Madara even watched the sequel.

_"Because because because of you I'm intoxicated, many times times times times you too dear-"_

**DUARRR!**

Not as strong anymore, Madara crushed the TV with his own hands. He felt betrayed again by all of this silliness. Full of anger, he teleported himself back into the battle again. Unfortunately, maybe because of wrong timing-or wrong location-Madara couldn't find anyone there. There was no Juubi, no _shinobi_ alliance, and no traces of destruction left. In other words, the war was over before he even realized it. Thanks to Hashirama's cunning idea.

"DAMMNNNN YOUUUU, HASHIRAMAAAAAAAA!"

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**FIN**

Notes from Translator: This fanfic was not written by me. Credits go to the writer, Asakura Ayaka and owner of Naruto, Masashi Kishimoto. The only thing I've done is translating this AWESOME fanfic into English so that many could read it. I would highly recommend you to read it in "Bahasa" if you're able to because the story is way funnier in its original language. Sorry if certain sentences don't make any sense as I'm amateur in translation work and I even used help from Google_ Translate_ Sensei to do this job. Reviews are welcomed. If you want to read the original, check out "**Pesanan Terakhir Madara**" by **Asakura Ayaka**. Enjoy the fic~


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